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| Image: Michael Elliot |
I am a “Mama Bear” (Damn, I wish that hag Palin hadn’t ruined the expression for us!)
I love my children and I want them to have the best childhoods I can offer them. They don’t need to be concerned with being “tough”, hiding their emotions, or stifling their creativity. They’ll get plenty of that coming when they hit the real world. I hate the way people are with my son, especially the males in our family. He is expected to not cry when he gets emotional, be “tough” when he gets hurt, and heaven forbid he whines when he’s up past his bed time and stumbling around tired. He’s not a tank. He doesn’t barrel through life like some kids his age do. He isn’t the fastest runner because he doesn’t run, he frolics. (Thanks Aunt Corrinne) He has been speaking in full sentences since he was 18 months old and has a better grasp on the English language than most adults I know. He can count to 10 and knows basic math. He leaves me AWESTRUCK on a daily basis.
So why does it matter? What is the reason for the male ego to insist that the offspring be so “tough”? Is it because there’s some genetic code built into us from our ancestors for survival of our species?
When I hear a whine from him or see him bust his ass when he’s playing, if the apes are around, I can feel my blood pressure rise. I know it’s only a matter of time before they start in with the “sissies” and “baby” and all the other name calling. I know they will roll their eyes and get frustrated with him too easily. I know my husband will lose his temper and give him “a talk”. Don’t get me wrong. My husband is NOT abusive. He is a kind, loving father. He provides for his family and loves them unconditionally. I just don’t think he can help it.
Before it’s all over, my husband’s embarrassed, I’m fuming, and Alexander is in tears. There’s no reason for this. I don’t think it’s being too soft or letting something slide when the situation gets to this point. You’re not suppose to kick a man when he’s down, right? So why kick a kid? Most times, just ignoring him or sending him to a quiet place does the trick. Most times, it’s our fault for having him up too late. He is not an adult, he doesn’t think like one, he doesn’t act like one. He is closer in age to a newborn than a 10 year old and let me tell you, I’ve seen some pretty ratty 10 year olds when they need rest. So making him buck up and quit being a “sissy” or “whiney butt” only escalates an already stressed situation.
I guess what I’m trying to say is…..LAY OFF MY DAMN KID, ALREADY!!
I'm with ya. I nearly beat the hell out of one of my dad's students when Nathan was really little and fell and cut his knee and he told him to "cowboy up and quit crying". I punched him and told him to do the same thing and leave my brother alone! My brother's 22 and a sensitive man when he needs to be and tough when he needs to be. He has a better balance of it than most men!!!
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