Tuaca and Jalapenos

You will RUE the day....start ruing.

I LOVE jalapenos!  Anytime I'm somewhere and there's something with jalapenos on it, I will eat it, be it nachos, cheese fries, or, as in last night's case, pizza.  I ate 2 slices.

Then my sisters-in-lawses decided to have a "Girls Night Out" i.e. I drug my bitches out to da club. 

First stop was she-who-shall-not-be-named so we will just call her Whorebag since she doesn't want her name on the interwebs.  We took a few shots of Tuaca (which I love almost as much as jalapenos) and did some experimenting.  We tried to come up with a Wurther's Original type shot, but it turned out looking/tasting like motor oil, then a WO aftertaste.  No bueno.  Next, Whorebag, Kristina, Ruth, and I headed to Midnight Rodeo.  Oh yes, my dear friends, what most people in this area so affectionately refer to as "Rope-a-ho".  The drinking recommenced, 6 Tuaca and Dr Peppers and one Royal Fuck later and I was just that, royally fucked!  No I was not driving.

It's like a hug from Jesus.

We left the club after the 5th Turkish creep-o tried rubbing his junk on my 18 year old niece, and headed to the only logical place, The Waffle House.  Did you know they have a "go all the way" selection now for your hash browns?  I was a wee bit on the tipsy side so I didn't read what exactly that entailed, but when it arrived at the table, I was so excited.  MORE JALAPENOS!!!  Along with chili, gravy, cheese, mushrooms, and possibly a pubic hair or two from the large and in charge night cook.  He looked the type. 

I'll save you from the horror that is "all the way".

I promise I'm getting to a point. 

So, you know how when you go out and drink copious amounts of alcohol, the next day your body finds interesting ways to punish you for the beating you gave your liver.  All those organs like to stick together.  M-effers.  Well, when you add the combination of what I like to call "liquor poos" or "beer shits" depending on what I've been drinking, and WAY TOO MANY JALAPENOS for one single person to consume in a 12 hour period, you end up with a serious case of the "butt hurts".  LITERALLY.  I just found out in Latin jalapeno means Capsicum annuum.  You can say that again!

I'd totally say I'm never doing this again, but that would be a lie, and I'm such an honest person.  Maybe sometimes too honest.  Maybe that's why no one reads my blog.  Fuggit!  I"m not doing it for you.








 Yes I am.  Love me.