Really??? REALLY?!?!

This is trending on MSN.  Man accused of pelting wife with Cheez-Its  I fucking love you, America!  This is why China will never win!

Those Cheez-Its are damn delicious

That's some  investigative journalism right there, folks!

~UPDATED~ So long, Sh*tbag

My dog disappeared yesterday. 

I was visiting with a friend and totally ignoring the "I have to poop NOW" signs, so right after said friend left, she laid down a massive deuce in the kids' room.  Yes. I was angry.  But, I just put her out on the patio, WITH THE GATE CLOSED, so that we would not have a repeat episode and so that I could clean up the poo.



I know, I know, it's a chipmunk smoking weed.
How very observant of you.   Still funny as shit!



Well, my attention span is that of a squirrel on crack sometimes and I neglected to let the dog back in after I was done.  About an hour later, I remembered and opened the door to let her in. 

NO DOG?!

Oh crap.
Gate open!

I have come to two possible conclusions.

1.  Some douche bag opened the gate and either let her out or took her.

2. She was so much smarter than we thought, got fed up with all the shit talk, and opened the gate herself with a plan to strike out on her own.  Plotting out her own destiny.  Wandering the American West like Caine, having adventures as a Shaolin Monk armed only with her skill in Kung Fu.



source


I hope she comes back.....kinda.

(side note: kinda and douche bag are in the spell check but Shaolin and Kung Fu are not.  Someone should really check into this.)

************UPDATE*************

A lady found her last night down by Chop Chop and said she was just the sweetest thing.  I guess Kung Fu is not her destiny.  She'll be back this afternoon.

************UPDATE*************

2.0

The lady brought her back and she ran away when we took her off the leash.  She came back.  So, earlier today I was walking her, and the bitch wrestled the collar off her neck and ran away again.  I'm done.  I have disowned her.  She is no longer my dog.