Really??? REALLY?!?!

This is trending on MSN.  Man accused of pelting wife with Cheez-Its  I fucking love you, America!  This is why China will never win!

Those Cheez-Its are damn delicious

That's some  investigative journalism right there, folks!

READ MY BLOG!

Just so you know, every day you wake up and don't check my blog for new posts, GOD KILLS A KITTEN!*

Why you wanna see me die? (source)

Everytime you see a new post and don't comment on it, A CLOWN GETS ANALLY ASSAULTED!**

by:steenslag

*By "God" I mean me, and by "kitten" I mean baby chipmunk, because I know some of you are allergic to cats and I'm not doing any of you fuckers a favor until you read my blog on a consistant basis!
**by "clown" I mean you...and by "anally assaulted" I mean ass raped by a clown. 

Huh??

Still fucking creepy after all these years!!!

HI!! My name is Star and I'm a Sh*tbag!

I am a German Shepherd, Corgi mix a.k.a. serious genetic eff up.

I was named Star by some unimaginative jackwagon at SPCA and my mom and dad hate me too much were to lazy to change it.  My mom and dad usually call me "Shitbag", "Asshole", or "F*cktard" which they say with such inflection and pitch that I can only assume those words are high praise. My favorite things include chewing up anything I find on the floor, throwing up whatever I found on the floor 30 minutes later, barking like a Pomeranian on helium at 6:30 in the morning, and running away.

When I had a backyard, I loved to dig holes, and that is why my dad hates me with the intensity of a thousand suns.  He can fill in the holes in the yard, but I can never fill in the holes in our relationship.  

I love going on walks which include attempting to dislocate my mom's elbow, marking every shrub I come across, chasing after invisible cats, and sh*tting as far away from the dumpster as possible and always one more time than the amount of poop bags in my mom's pocket. 

# of poop bags + 1 = Amount of poop on ground

My pooping technique includes squatting down then walking in a circle whilst I poop, creating a trail that must be picked up one turd at a time, often resulting in Mom's fingers getting crap on them.

So, that's all there really is to know about me.  I'm glad you took the time to read my story.

Oh, one more thing, I shed enough hair to keep an entire Inuit family warm for 20 years in little under a week.

sinkhole photo source